In other words, you cannot be a bishop without the approval of the First Presidency. 26. For example, take my sons to general priesthood meeting., Ask if anything [is] needed. Missionaries should learn more about the history of plural marriage and then mention this in a faithful way before converts baptisms. For a discussion of Nauvoo Polygamy, see Craig L. Foster, Review of Nauvoo polygamy: but we call it celestial marriage, Mormon Historical Studies 11/1 (Spring 2010), 15558. The missionary told how Brigham Youngs wife would keep house, and I naturally wondered which wife, so I asked. !45 Another womans exit letter from the Church had a series of accusatory questions including, Why did Smith marry and have sex with 11 women who were married to other men at the same time, some of whom he sent away on missions before marrying their wives? 9. [Page 49]Another accusation of more recent date, perhaps even more insidious than the previous, charges the Mormons of pedophilia because of marriages with teenage brides.10 This [Page 50]slur has been aimed particularly against Joseph Smith in order to attack his claim to be a prophet of God. The historical record, however, clearly demonstrates that Church leaders intended at least a few plural marriages to continue without the Churchs public sanction and encouragement.2 This contributed to the difficulties of the next few decades. The percentage with very unfavorable feelings toward plural marriage was the highest among the possible unfavorable, including possible unfavorable feelings toward the LDS Church. 19. It's true when they say that you really do find out who your real friends are when disaster strikes. From that point on, the respondent was okay with it. If my parents were sealed in the temple and then got Copy in authors possession. Elder Oaks's mother worked hard for her family and cultivated that same work ethic in her children. But one or two of the current apostles have remarried after becoming widowed.. wow I really like that.. i had no idea that you couldnt be bishop if you were divorced or unmarried. Even some of those who became aware of plural marriage at a young age approach the subject through a 21st-century prism that warps their understanding. 17. Elder Oaks remarried after the passing of his wife. Elder Ruseel M. Nelson also remarrried after his first wife passed away. Interestingly enough, 5 of the respondents were from England, with at least 3 of them identifying themselves as fundamentalist Mormons. These survey results provide an opportunity for personal reflection. 6. At the age of 11, President Uchtdorf watched as his family split up, each taking separate routes to Frankfurt until only he and his mother remained. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Dr. Swinton says, Love them. One guy from Japan ordered 5,000 of them for resale.20 Another alcoholic beverage company banking on the polygamy image is Five Wives Vodka, an Ogden, Utah distillery whose suggestive label displays five women in old-fashioned nightgowns.21. Throughout his childhood, Elder Bednar would ask his father several times a week why he was not baptized. In my experience as a counselor, I found that, although much of what men and women experience in divorce is the same, there are some differences: While still married, men are more likely to minimize the seriousness of marital problems. WebIn their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick Broadcasts Video Images Music Podcasts and Radio. But unfortunately, this would not be the last time President Uchtdorf's family would have to leave behind everything. I know they're on there, cause i've done it before. I would imagine if a divorced man was called as Bishop that it would have had to be approvied by the First Presidency. Joseph Walker, Sarandon Calls Pope a Nazi, Maher Calls Mormonism Ridiculous, Deseret News, October 20, 2011, accessed October 21, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous. However, Elder Baxter's family situation was still difficult. The important thing to remember is that Heavenly Father loves all of you and wants the best for you, both now and in eternity. In preparation for this essay, I conducted an unscientific online survey of attitudes about plural marriage among current and former members of the LDS Church. How can I worry less about it? Divorced LDS women long have been required to obtain a clearance from the First Presidency before being sealed to a second husband. Display as a link instead, A couple of years ago, I was talking with one of my daughters 16-year-old friends, a descendant of LDS polygamists, and mentioned Joseph Smiths plural wives. (That doesn't mean the policy doesn't exist, but that I've never seen it). However, it wasn't until years after Elder Bednar's mission and after he was married that his he received an answer to the question he had been asking his father all those years when his father called him to ask, "What are you doing this Saturday? pete22, Many are confronted with these issues regarding plural marriage without a firm understanding of the LDS Churchs polygamous past. Because of this widespread apostasy, the Lord withdrew the authority of the priesthood from the earth. In a message to divorced members, Dr. Swinton continues, If you have experienced divorce, don't beat yourself up or feel you are lesser in any way. Only 13 percent of LDS couples have divorced after five years of marriage, compared with 20 percent for religiously homogamist unions among Catholics and If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. But sexual relations and procreation were only one aspect of plural marriage. None of the 12 or the First Presidency have been divorced. For a more detailed discussion of anti-Mormon accusations and stereotyping, see Craig L. Foster, Victorian Pornographic Imagery in Anti-Mormon Literature, Journal of Mormon History 19/1 (Spring 1993): 11532; Old Themes and Stereotypes Never Die: The Unchanging Ways of Anti-Mormons, FAIR, 2003, accessed October 14, 2011, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, and Craig L. Foster, Penny Tracts and Polemics: A Critical Analysis of Anti-Mormon Pamphleteering in Great Britain, 18371860 (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2003). Regardless of who was at greater fault in your divorce, healing wont come until there is repentance and forgiveness. Would a menace make a good Bishop? : Latter-day Saint Ambivalence over Its Polygamous Past, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 88, and Lesson 31: Sealed . Most of these people, however, are just trying to find a way to react to something that is so contrary to accepted marriage patterns. It is not part of my testimony of the Church.49 Another respondent referred to the idea that plural marriage would extend into the eternities as nothing more than folk belief, which is very distressing, especially to women of faith, and many individuals of LDS background have left the Church over this and similar issues.50, In July 2011, Mormon author and blogger Jana Riess wrote about an e-mail she had received from a former Latter-day Saint woman who had eventually left the Church over several issues, including the persistence of polygamous theology among Mormons. Riess went on to explain, As for individual belief, Ive occasionally heard it taught from the pulpit (and Relief Societys lace-draped table) that heaven will be polygamous. Such an approach was expressed by this man I counseled: I still have a hard time grasping the concept that Im a divorced man, but I am. Recognizing their interest in history, I decided to arrange a tour of the Beehive House to accompany the usual tour of Temple Square. A man may remarry after the death of his wife For examples of people who chose to secretly practice plural marriage while still members of the LDS Church, see Craig L. Foster, The Persistence of Plural Marriage Within Mainstream Mormonism: The Example of the Barr and Mary Musser Family, in Scattering of the Saints: Schism Within Mormonism, eds. This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. Jana Riess, My Polygamous Heaven . All but one of the contributing authors can speak from personal experience about divorce. Rather than plural marriage being noticeably absent from Church publications, it should be adequately discussed. As for the OP. 58. When marriages suffer from serious problems, separation almost always leads to either reconciliation with the hopes of the marriage surviving or to divorce. 4. The mother said she divorced her husband, who later re-married. The Browns then moved to Las Vegas, where they continue to produce their show.12 Not to be outdone, the Darger family [Page 51]published Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage.13 They took to the talk show circuit to describe their lifestyle and went so far as to suggest they were the inspiration for the family on Big Love. Given the Dargers soap opera adventures, this might be a rather dubious honor. Answer. [Page 45]Abstract: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintss uncomfortable relationship with its polygamous history is somewhat like an awkward marriage separation. 32. The book discusses women and divorce, men and divorce, children and divorce, dating again, blended families, remarriage, marriage counseling, and so on. Joseph Walker, Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy, Deseret News, August 6, 2011, accessed August 7, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/8/6/20208124/recent-events-highlight-confusion-of-polygamy. 16. 20. That would be incorrect, divorced men can be bishops. As already noted, Joseph Smith entered into plural marriage before the Nauvoo period. If two men are available to be bishop and they are equally qualified in every way except one man is married and the other is not, you can expect the married man to receive the call. . . have In a 2012 e-mail discussion between fellow Latter-day Saints about Joseph Smith and polyandry, one member wrote, There really is a chance that these married women might have been just as interested in the prurient side of this as Joseph Smith.61 [Page 68]Another later agreed that polyandry, no matter how you try to present it, is weird. If you keep your covenants, your relationships in the next life will be fair and right. Be patient and reach out yourself. PBS Can Mormons Divorce if They Were Married in a Temple? - Learn Sister Wives follows the large family of Kody Brown and his four wives. To help us understand what its like to be divorced in such a family-oriented church, I conducted a survey of 1,062 Latter-day Saints who have experienced divorce. Those who experience a divorce need a lot of support from others to help manage those high levels of stress. One survey respondent wrote, Inadvertently finding out the truth about polygamy/polyandry absolutely devastated me.42 Another complained about Joseph Smith shacking up with women for years and then wrote, I am glad I discovered the truth about dirty Joes polyandry. I am much happier as a saved Christian outside the vile, lying Mormon cult.43, Discovery of Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages can be a traumatic experience. for Time and for All Eternity in Doctrine and Covenants and Church History: Gospel Doctrine Teachers Manual, accessed February 14, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng. And they forgive.2. Men tend to be action oriented, so they may be less inclined to seek counseling and instead bury their feelings by working long hours or immersing themselves in a hobby. Her eyes bugged out, her mouth dropped open, and she asked in a weak voice, Joseph Smith had more than one wife? Afterward, she repeated several times that she was blown away.65. Those members of the church who are personally affected by the policy change and have questions are encouraged to talk to their local priesthood leaders," he said. The two senior members of the Quorum of the Twelve were not general authorities when they became apostles. As the children grew in age and understanding, we would explain a little more so that by the time they were teenagers, they had a broad familiarity with Mormon polygamy as a historical reality. Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? Separated but not Divorced: The LDS Churchs Uncomfortable Relationship with its Polygamous Past, Complexities in the English Language of the Book of Mormon 2015, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Polyandry, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Marriages_to_young_women, http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=12564307&itype=storyID, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, http://www.christianpost.com/news/will-same-sex-marriage-lead-to-legalized-polygamy-57640/, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/getreligion/2011/12/picturing-polygamists/, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous, http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52568348-78/mormon-mormons-polygamy-percent.html.csp, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf, http://eugenedailynews.com/2011/09/16/duck-football-from-one-mission-to-another, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-importance-of-a-name?lang=eng, http://www.abc.net.au/foreign/content/2011/s3342583.htm, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng, https://www.deseret.com/2011/8/6/20208124/recent-events-highlight-confusion-of-polygamy, http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy, http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleCasslerPolygamy.html, http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/25/sister-wives-explained-a-fundamentalist-mormon-polygamy-primer/, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201108/are-people-naturally-polygamous-0, http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2013/06/slippery-slopes, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Divorce disqualifies a Priesthood holder from even being a Bishop, let alone a General Authority. After that, the practice again went underground and was once more surrounded by a veil of secrecy which made it even more difficult to completely stop.5, Unfortunately, the obfuscation which attended the beginning and end of the official practice of plural marriagenecessary though it wasprovided ammunition for anti-Mormons and anxiety for modern Church members. Don't let discomfort prevent you from providing support that may be needed. BoydK. Packer, The Shield of Faith, Ensign, May 1995, 8. List of former or dissident Mormons - Wikipedia Meet the Apostles. For more information showing Josephs Smiths marriages to teenage wives were not out of the cultural and social norm of his time, see Joseph Smith/Polygamy/Marriages to Young Women, FairMormon Answers, accessed February 22, 2014, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Marriages_to_young_women. . Copy in authors possession. 52. Latter Day Saint practitioners of plural marriage In fact, most of the literature discussing these marriages suggests Joseph had sexual relations with these women, usually without the cuckold husbands knowledge.9. This essay looks at examples of members expression of discomfort over a polygamous heritage and concludes with suggestions of possible pathways to a more comfortable reconciliation. His first plural wife was Fanny Alger in 18351836 as explained by Bradley, Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 1458. He was baptized on 10 March 1998 in Reyjavik, the capital city of Iceland, while serving on active duty in Keflavik Iceland with the United States Navy. Many survey respondents noted that they felt most accepted and supported by nonmembers because they were not judgmental and there is less of a stigma around divorce in the outside world. Those who have been divorced have experienced great pain. Note: At the time this survey was conducted, the Church had not yet announced the ministering program that replaced home and visiting teaching. have any lds apostles been divorced A 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. Even one soul lost over the now-unpracticed principle of plural marriage is too many. Even if the situation is uncomfortable or you dont know how to react, love them. Again, in 1952, President Uchtdorf's father opposed the communist East Germany, and it was no longer safe for his family to remain at their home in Zwickau. That makes me sad. Another wrote, In general I was OK with polygamy, thinking it was instituted by Brigham Young. And making an effort to help, even if its awkward, can pay major dividends, as one respondent shared: I was brought to tears many times at the amazing support I received from so many members.. It is television shows and books like these that confuse non-Mormons. You can post now and register later. Polygamy in the Spotlight, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. . EIN: 46-0869962. Our teenage youth need to know about plural marriage, including the fact that Joseph Smith, by commandment of God, introduced the doctrine and practice of the plurality of wives. I need you home to baptize me.". Nevertheless, with reactivation success, there will always be a need to teach adult members about the Churchs polygamous past. Before Elder Dallin H. Oaks was 8 years old, his father passed away from tuberculosis, leaving his mother, Stella H. Oaks, to care for three children on her own. 59. This book, which will help couples contemplating divorce and men and women who are working through divorce, offers guidance, ideas, comfort and gospel perspective for those struggling through the painful experience of divorce. Newell G. Bringhurst and John C. Hamer (Independence, Missouri: John Whitmer Books, 2007): 290314. Im a Mormon, I know it, I live it and I love it. NEW POLICY ANNOUNCED FOR DIVORCED LDS 36. By According to the newspaper article, the Lawrence Research poll found that 15% said Mormons definitely practice polygamy while another 31% said Mormons probably practice polygamy: a total of 46%. The Church of Jesus Christ itself has been described as a Church very much against polygamy that will continue to distance itself as far away from polygamy as possible.24 As [Page 55]previously explained, the Church has, since at least the late 1920s, repeatedly tried to distance itself from fundamentalist Mormonism and modern plural marriage. The children in that marriage joined the lawsuit and allege their stepfather abused them. 5. Just as a civil marriage does not automatically translate into a temple sealing for a Mormon couple, a civil divorce does not unseal them. A man may remarry after the death of his wife and not be disqualified from these callings. When children spend most of their time with their mother, it is easy for the father to feel like he has become a visitor to his own children. After personal reflection and prayer, Elder Scott felt impressed that he should serve a mission and was called to serve inUruguay from 1950 to 1953. The manual emphasized that plural marriage should not be the focus of the lesson. On the positive side, unlike earlier Sunday School manual referred to, the online version of the latest Sunday School manual includes an explanation and discussion points about plural marriage. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). By the end of these few decades, a number of members had doctrinally and physically separated themselves from the body of the Church because they continued to teach and practice plural marriage. These included the lying about plural marriage, the apparent polyandrous marriages of [Page 61]Joseph Smith, the teenage wives of Joseph Smith, and the idea that plural marriage will be practiced in the celestial kingdom. Most definitely not true. Divorce disqualifies a Priesthood holder from even being a Bishop, let alone a General Authority. applepansy While this survey was intended only for those of a Latter-day Saint background, at least two respondents identified themselves as non-Mormons. One divorcee noted, Friends outside church did not treat me like a sinner for getting a divorce. To find out more about how Latter-day Saints experience divorce, I surveyed more than 1,000 active members who have been divorced or are currently going through the process. However, LDS members can only have one living, legal spouse while on earth. When a couple legally divorce, the temple marriage/sealing is effectively nullified, because the couple is no longer together and do not wish to be. Heres how a new speaker series can help you find it: Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. [Page 74]. While others shared what kept them going: I wonder if I would have continued going to church if I [didnt] have children. Top Mormon leaders mostly Republican; two switch to unaffiliated Also, provide long-term support. Faithful historians and scholars can and should continue to study the Churchs polygamous past in order to help members better understand and appreciate the complex history of Mormon polygamy. Elder Scott's parents would later serve in the Washington DC Temple for many years, and Elder Scott served as an apostle until he passed away Septemeber 22, 2015. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. They are subject to its penalties. One convert, who joined at age 24, wasnt told about the Churchs polygamist past until after he was baptized. Rebecca Musser and M. Bridget Cook, The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2013). I asked my husband. Surprisingly, only 4% of the respondents did not know he had plural wives. This is the average score out of 7 for those support systems: Divorce is the second-most stressful life event, with death of a spouse being the most stressful, according to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory. For Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. For example, they wanted to focus on home life or to take care of children. The separation before the actual divorce can often be even more embittered. 48. All Rights Reserved, NEW POLICY ANNOUNCED FOR DIVORCED LDS MEN. 33. The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage Lets dive into the New Testament and see what we can learn about the efforts of the original apostles to maintain a full quorum. One female survey respondent commented, I dont feel a need to defend the original practice, and I dont think it is an eternal principle. Children are most likely to adjust successfully to parental divorce when their mother and father are willing to put the happiness and stability of children ahead of their own hurt feelings. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. Often times in our anxiety to live Gods commandments, we focus on everything we should avoid to remain righteous. Ironically, Mary Elizabeth Rollins, who was mentioned above, was 16 when she married Adam Lightner, and yet critics have not condemned Lightner for marrying a teenager when he was 25. Ok, just confirmed. mormon Joseph Smith married other mens wives while they were still married to their husbands, Mormon Think, accessed October 12, 2011, http://mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#other. Most couples tried going to counseling to support orsave their marriage, but perhaps not to the degree we would expect: Note: The definition of what qualified as counseling support is unique for those surveyed and, in the course of the survey, seemed to be open to interpretation. 28. "The train stopped, my mother went out and tried to get food," President Uchtdorf told KUTV. Webwesterly kitchen discount code have any lds apostles been divorced One faithful Latter-day Saint wrote of his in-laws learning of Joseph Smiths polyandry, My [Page 63]mother-in-laws eyes bulged out.44 One woman who found out about Smiths polyandrous marriages, combined with other issues regarding Joseph Smith and Mormonism, declared she was done, done and DONE!! LDS apostles No one is entirely immune to difficult family situations like these, including the general authorities of the Church. the husband of one wife phrase From the 1840s to the present, anti-Mormon literature has accused Church leaders and members of immorality and lasciviousness, [Page 48]with suggestions that Joseph Smith started plural marriage to cover-up his own adulterous affairs.6 The 1840s saw some early purveyors of the lustful and lascivious stereotype in the supposed insider exposs of John C. Bennett and the Van Dusens.7 Ironically, some of these clichd stereotypes are still being used today. Clement is the only Father who reports that Paul was married; many of them expressly deny it; e.g. No we didn't see President Hinckley remarry. They are in violation of the civil law. Elder David S. Baxter, a general authority of the Seventy, found the gospel at a critical time in his life. But, on the other hand, the Church and its members will never be able to divorce themselves from historical plural marriage. As they grew up, we would point to pictures of ancestors on the wall and explain how they came from his fifth wife or that the lady in the photograph was the plural wife of the man in [Page 70]the photo hanging next to hers. 46. 14. M. Russell Ballard, The Importance of a Name, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints October 2011 General Conference Addresses, accessed October 24, 2011, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-importance-of-a-name?lang=eng. No, Divorce currently disqualifies a man from becoming a Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle or Prophet. An acquaintance of mine, married in the temple 25 years ago, four children and an active member in the LDS church was recently divorced for having an Approximately 20 percent of the Catholic men and 23 percent of the women have been divorced. There Married or widowed are okay. Most of them have never been members. The only safe path through a divorce is to remain true to the gospel. 51. Latter-day Saint Men and Divorce - The Church of Jesus Brian C. Hales, on the other hand, in an excellent essay, Joseph Smith and the Puzzlement of Polyandry, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 99151, offers a compelling argument for the proposition that Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages were non-sexual and were eternity only sealings. Unlike Warren Jeffs and a small minority of polygamists, most Fundamentalist Mormons are quiet, law-abiding (other than practicing polygamy) people of good report who generally blend in with the rest of society and who have no desire to attract attention to themselves or their religious practices. Feelings About Plural Marriage. Over 230 of the respondents were born in Utah or the western United States. Even so, 12 other countries were represented, most from European countries.34, Over 47% of survey respondents heard about polygamy as a child while another 39% heard about it as teenagers, for a total of over 86% learning about plural marriage while in their childhood or youth.
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