Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Michael Lewis and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? Kelly Corrigan:Theyre never going to not do that, and thats how theyre going to raise their kids, and that means shes still here. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | PBS Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. If you love the episode, please share and review. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Thanks for sharing. Its these seemingly trivial moments. Kelly Corrigan:You know, that I had lost his favor for a moment, and I was just so ashamed. Theres a whole world out there happening, and you can step into all kinds of things, and you dont need to know why youre leaving the house. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. I think earn is such a good word, because youre talking about such a complicated math. Maybe Wills curious phrase, Its like this, applies here too. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. You are in good company. May you find Christ, comfort, and companions amidst the questions! Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. They thrill, and confound, and circle, and overflow, and disappear, because its like this, having a life.. To learn more about Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies Ive Loved) by Kate Bowler, click here. Teri Rose wrote this loving remembrance of her son Ryland. Its completely random. PRX Series Kelly Corrigan Wonders I mean, that means shes with them. Her memoirs include " The Middle Place," and her first children's. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. We can remove the first video in the list to add this one. Kilpy Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show features insightful conversations with notable guests, reflecting on their lives and the impact they can have on their worlds. Kelly Corrigan:So, I used to go in there and write, and they have a meditation teacher twice a day at 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM, and at first I was sort of sheepish about availing myself of every single employee benefit, but sure enough, eventually I found myself sitting in there, and this guy was kind of amazing. Shed do dishes all day and into the night to just get to listen to her children, just to get to watch them through a one-way glass, you know? Its completely random. Kelly Corrigan:I was perhaps proud about it honestly, and I was reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at night with my big fat yellow highlighter, and I was really full of attachment to this identity that I had painted for myself. Thats my other life mantra. Kate Bowler:Well, the quote that really resonated with me is when you said, They are moving onward, not away from you, but with you. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Kate Bowler:So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. Thank You for all you do!! Duration: 3:0 Transcript HARI SREENIVASAN: Now to another in our Brief But Spectacular. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. I went to see her one time. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on RadioPublic Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. Ill read you a little bit from the very end of that chapter because the thing that he was saying I think is, This is how it goes.. CW: death of parent, death of friend to cancer. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Kareem means generous. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Its not in my family. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. RELATED LINKS Try this episode's happiness practice: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness Read Kelly Corrigan's new book, Tell Me More Transcript Thank you for this. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Series 47: For the Love of Untraditional Traditions Series 46: For the Love of Feeding Your People Series 45: For the Love of Dating, Sex, and Relationships Series 44: Letters from MeCamp 2022 Series 43: For the Love of Conversations Series 42: For the Love of Our Favorite Pastimes Series 41: For the Love of Faith Shakers Your email address will not be published. One day I just snapped and threatened to sell the dog. Exactly Archives | KQED News Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show dives deep into each guests life to pull out poignant lessons they hope others can use to find their own calling or better understand themselves. Kate Bowler:I do think people offer certainties when they think that youre proof of something that scares them, and they cant just live in the uncertainty of not knowing for a minute. Forever? Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. Kelly Corrigan:Theres a thing Im aware of about eye contact between spouses, and you either make it, or you dont, and once youre aware that thats deeply meaningful, and that it has this kind of almost immeasurable, physiological effect on the other person, then you make an effort to look them in the eye, and that seems like such a small thing, but its actually definitional in terms of your relationship, in terms of whether its a good day, or a bad day, or a good interaction, or a bad interaction. Like, Today could be this day, well, you know, today I met you, now were friends, and who knows whats going to happen now? Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Being a runner, this has always been meaningful for me. Kerri, with Kelly Corrigan When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't living as gratefully as she wanted to. Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. She has been called the voice of her generation and the poet laureate of the ordinary, and she is the most perfect person to talk to to kick us off because her lovely new book is called Tell Me More, and Tell me more is one of those phrases she uses, phrases that she writes about that help guide her through relationships, and parenting, and grief. I think we make life a little more interesting! I found that instructive. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. Its a sin, its hell. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. I rebelled. Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. Whos going to do this? Take care, Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. As many of our listeners know, Kelly has a dear cousin, Kathy, who turns up, one way or another, in all of Kelly's books. Kelly Corrigan:And how do we earn it? And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. I have watched every episode on PBS and cannot get enough of the show Mrs Corrigan!!! I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. Lang Lang and Gina Alice play the piano in Lafayette, CA. I thoroughly enjoyed your podcast and listening to you both. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. Kilpy Follow Kelly on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. What a unique family motto! She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. On Sundays, Kelly records a special podcast called, "Thanks for Being Here" where she reads the toasts and tributes that listeners have submitted about those they love. Constance shares her experiences as an actress in Hollywood both on and off screen: the privilege and responsibility of representation, being a true artist, navigating social media and an incident which took her to a very dark place.Special thanks to PBS for supporting Tell Me More and this podcast series. The voice memos at the end of the episode are from listeners like you! Team Everything Happens, Kate, A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling . Kelly Corrigan:Well, chop-chop kid. Your email address will not be published. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. I was wrong. Ive read Tell Me More twice already. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. 295 Episodes Produced by Kelly Corrigan Website. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. In fact Im in the middle of reading both of your books right now. (To be fair, Ive loved all that I have listened to). I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. Minds dont rest. 5-Minute Listen. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. My son was, of course, distraught and felt the dog was a part of the family and worth the trouble. Each episode ends with Kellys shortlist of takeaways, appropriate for refrigerator doors, bulletin boards and notes to your children. Onwards, but you use it so beautifully when youre talking about Lizs family and how they are now. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Kate Bowler:Yeah. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Claire, I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. Michael Murray on the Social Science of Faith Kelly Corrigan Wonders. I dont have the genetic predisposition. Having interviewed Christy on her podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, Maya shares her story of being a female firefighter and her difficult decision to eventually prioritize her mental health over her job. I need to hear what your motto is. You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. I dont know. Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she . Kate Bowler:I guess Ill see you soon. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. Forever? Kelly Corrigan:You cant be in the world, and get through your to-do list, and also sit in endless, rich gratitude. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. The name is a lyric from . Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. She's an author. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? She lives in Philly and I live in California. She totally doesnt get it. Were jumping in way too soon and talking way too much. Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | Michael Lewis | Season 5 | Episode 1 An Evening with Kelly Corrigan EVENT PAGE - Lightways Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Thats the word. Such is a reminder that success is the result of joined efforts and that all of us are touched by the ripples of others contributions. Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Im so grateful to hear the ways youre connecting with Kate and Kelly. And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. Im coming. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Diana, I went to see her one time. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . Thats where its at. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Yeah. The successes of independent and feminist Marie Antoinette provoke jealousy and rivalry. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. This is one of the most moving and important conversations weve ever shared and we thank PBS for supporting this work as well as the Lafayette Library and Learning Center for hosting the shoot. Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. Onward, my dears. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. Kate Bowler: I'm Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Kelly Corrigan:So, my husband worked at a startup in San Francisco, which is called Medium, and its a writing platform, and as a writer, I was welcome to come, and use their office space, and its everything you think a San Francisco startup is. Despair defies description. We should thank the chef. Id love to hear more about what this means to you. Kilpy So, I think things happen when you leave the house. After a College Applicant Hits 'Send' - The New York Times Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. -Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. Kelly Corrigan:So, I used to go in there and write, and they have a meditation teacher twice a day at 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM, and at first I was sort of sheepish about availing myself of every single employee benefit, but sure enough, eventually I found myself sitting in there, and this guy was kind of amazing. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. (As consciously lesbian from about four-years old, believe it or not, I preferred handsome to pretty.) Im like, Yeah, right. The Best Show is the best live podcast you're ever gonna hear! Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Yeah. Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. I always asked her this when I wondered if I was handsome in any way. You dont have to bring it all. Yeah. Youve shared some gems with us. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Advice to graduates: Just ask questions Kate Bowler:Words matter. The ambiguity is quite isolating. Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. Alex, We should hold hands for a moment, as a way of marking the glory of a family dinner, and they do that. Just see who you can bump into out there. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Team Everything Happens. You could do worse than to live by that one. Kelly Corrigan:Hey, thanks for having me. Make the magic happen. Sadly, our family motto was, Youll pass in a crowd if the crowds big enough. My mothers mother didnt want her to get a swelled head, and she passed that down to us, her four daughters. That sounds really right to me. Our guest is Kelly Corrigan, a best-selling author and host of PBS talk show Tell Me More and podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Show Kelly Corrigan Wonders, Ep Kelly's Gratitude List - Nov 25, 2022 The reach of language can be laughable.. Its the title of my memoir-still-in-progress. She lives in Philly and I live in California. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations and personal truth-telling with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. You can watch this episode of Tell Me More anytime at pbs.org/kelly.Thank you also to the Lafayette Library and Learning Center. Weeks later, the missing hamster crawled out from under the stove. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. Tomorrow, March 28, 2023 would have been his 40th birthday. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Im so thankful I could be a fly on the wall and listen in on your conversation. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. This interview is perfection. Corrigan and her guests meander with insight and humor toward that inevitable moment when you think, "Exactly!" The Best Show with Tom Scharpling a day ago Corrigan, a New York Times bestselling author, gives her Brief But Spectacular take on the power of words. So, I just really went bananas, because on top of the shirt problem, I went downstairs to clean the kitchen, and I found everybodys bowls, and spoons, and cups, and I had that reaction that so many women have, which is, Well I guess Im the least busy. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've. I said, No, I just want to go back to Vietnam and do what I was doing. So, its funny that that phrase really begat the whole book in a way, because I had been feeling this shame about not really earning my days here, and then Ed and I were at dinner, and we were talking about the difference between saying Im sorry, and saying I was wrong, and I was saying, God, its so much more powerful though in the humility in saying I was wrong.. Kelly Corrigan:I never came up with any combination that came close to the feeling. Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. We only book nice people who have a sense of humor and know things worth knowing. Weekly dose of wonder: The glorious sounds of chickens : NPR Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. They swell, and constrict, and break, and forgive, and behold, because its like this, having a heart. Even the words left unsaid. Shes not going to hold their babies.. Onward, my dears. I was wrong not to go visit her. Our family motto: It isnt help unless someone asks for it. Just do your best. And then right on the heels of that, I think, What would Liz do for this?. Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. Best-selling author Kelly Corrigan tries a research-proven technique to feel closer to her husband. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Im not sure where the bar is set at in normalcy though. Im grateful for your wisdom in the messy, the uncertain and the in-between. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Kelly Corrigan:And then she died, and my dad called, and my dad had nothing but positive things to say to me my entire life, and he said, You should have gone to see your grandmother more. For every graduate from kindergarten to PhDs -- but especially the kids But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand..
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